Henceforth, Antwerp shall be known as Magic World. In this land, built of diamonds and dreams, there is a park shaped like a triangle. Whether intentional or simply serendipitous, the congruities with Bermuda’s own three-sided neverland cannot be overlooked. Entering is easy, but leaving is not; a map’s only use is as an umbrella in the rain. And when you leave you’ll know not where you are. So disorienting are the sights, that language itself recedes from the mind. Images and thoughts take on dream logic, for only the subconscious could conceive of something so bizarre and wonderful.
I speak of course of hundreds of rabbits roaming the grounds.
So regal.
Each more adorable than the last.
Each tinier than the previous, threatening to disappear into nothingness.
On the other side of the border, Rotterdam, Netherlands offers up its own Wonder World in the form of a park. Replacing the teeny tiny bunny wunnies with an assortment of dogs in every shape and size. This ragtag team of troublemakers was straight out of a madcap silent film.
There was this scrappy old fogy. His cloudy eyes and wire fur hinting at great wisdom earned from a hardscrabble life.
The classic comedy pairing of a big oaf and a spunky sprite made a welcome addition. Again and again they performed their famous bit where the little dog tries to mount the big dog. It never gets old.
The team was rounded out by a true little rascal who jumped into the lake to save a soccer ball lost by the children’s camp across the way. True to form though, he punctured the ball and only returned it in trade for a handful of biscuit. Like a society women in a Three Stooges short, the woman in pink was simply scandalized by our hero’s behavior.
Belgium and Holland had more than adorable animals to offer. Breakfast foods come to mind. Thanks to a century-long viral marketing campaign, your first thought is probably of Belgian waffles. These crispy grids are rightfully iconic, but I am here to tell you about the Dutch pancake. In a stroke of genius paralleled only by the KFC Famous Bowl, all the best parts of breakfast are mixed into a single, hand-sized serving unit. With bacon, cheese, cinnamon sugar, and butter, all the important food groups are covered.
Aside from having a very pretty teacher, the best part of these breakfast bits was that we had them for dinner. Truly anything goes in this Bohemia known as Holland.
Back in Magic World I found an amusement park with no walls, gates or entrance fees. While I was there, I also noticed a lack of ride operators. What they lacked in usability, though, was more than made up for in neon colors, creepy characters and wonderful stereotypes.
In case you didn’t think there was anything more American than hamburgers and Marilyn Monroe knockoffs, let me introduce you to Obama Bar.
Seven months after the election and the world still goes crazy for that guy. For him and Smirnoff Vodka. Smirnoff: Enjoy!
